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madame
hi there, this is me, the owner, CADEN YAP a.k.a the singapore no.1 bastard
birthday falls on 24th MARCH every year


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Saturday, May 19, 2007 10:25 PM
so many routes appear in front of me now. making me think twice and longer before taking one step. the feeling is just so different and i hate it alot. i seriously do. imgaine, you decide to do something, yet a thought just flew past your mind and make you ponder again. it is like you moved a step and there are more routes for you to choose again. right now, i'm afraid of choosing the route. i just wish to stay here and watch. i know that each route i take will end up in a different situation. with You, i walked into eternity. but with you, i will walk away with more hurts. but still i wanted to be hurt by you.

hesistation reappeared once again. just because i asked God again. things seemed to be going in a different way and making me more tired than ever. i surrender all! this song. as i sang it. i felt so tired that i want to slp. not because the service is boring, but because i'm tired of thinking. in the presence of God, i just want a touch from Him. sigh. in Him, i found out that i need to sacrifice whatever is precious to me. if you love someone, there must be an action done. if you keep saying you love him/her without doing anything. it is equal to deceiving.

i now understand the feeling of being hurt. in the presence of Him just now, i realised that i'm hurting myself alot. just that i chose to ignore it. i chose to stand strong on the outside, i chose to let my heart die away. i chose not to let anyone know what i'm thinking about. i admit that i'm a bit jealous, but i'm more disappointed.

take care of yourself! buy the medicine as soon as possible bahs. =) smiles always.